Note that negative discipline increases the chances of your child becoming a major liar to prevent punishment. I don’t answer to rudeness. The Old Testament is full of it, as is the New. When doing something wrong he always says that he “forgot, sometimes he even has a smirk on his face which is very frustrating”. Not spanking, but consequences. This was everything about the 5 examples of positive discipline for toddlers. That makes no sense to me, because, again, I’d personally feel worse if someone talked that way to me! That is important to me. I really appreciate this because we currently spank and yell and threaten lol sounds horrible right? Question. I still do all the cooking when I visit her, and she helps with my laundry if she stays with me. Thank you , Here’s an article you may like: https://modernalternativemama.com/2015/02/06/child-runs-street/. While her handwriting is pretty good for her age, it isn’t that nice! Remember this is what works in our home. I needed a mom, not a master. My six year old is one very strong willed and emotionally volatile child. I was surprised. Tired? I appreciate your response and I hope you know I’m not trying to argue, just to speak to a different perspective! Cleaning Up. You have entered an incorrect email address! It hurt and made you feel sad. What do you do if the kid does x, y or z?” All the research and theories in the world cannot replace this practical knowledge, which is rarely given. My oldest son did hit, but as it’s been awhile now since I’ve spanked him, he is much more likely to yell “I don’t like that! Required fields are marked *. I know I don’t need their approval but they see soanking as the only source of discipline. Our girls are not bad children and we are quick to keep them in line about being rude and all that. I’ve found I can’t motivate them to do something that they really don’t want to do by force. At least until I say no, you may not have the blender…lol. I would venture to suggest that I think it is somewhat unfair to first (rightly) acknowledge that there are no studies done on spanking and then go on to state with certainty that spanking is incorrectly administered in most homes with most parents. Thanks for the examples! Thanks so much for this article, i love that it has practicle tips for what to do. If I sound stern, they usually refuse/ignore. […] I first ran across the idea of “positive parenting” when I was pregnant with my third baby. I have always thought spanking was the easy way out of a difficult situation. This tells me that we need to learn from the mistakes of Solomon by following Jesus’ example, and not the example of a flawed father who physically abused his children and passed this lack of empathy down to his son. Not pain or violence but a wake up call. For those of you wondering how in the world you can parent biblicaly without spanking I encourage you to read Heartfelt Discipline by Clay Clarkson. He screams and fights me to be put into a shopping cart, such as at the grocery store. And follow it up with talking about the right response they should have had, repentance, and then lots of hugs. They do not like going to bed without me (although they will if I am really unavailable), but having both of us helps to cut down on shenanigans, plus we both get to say good night. And begins kicking the back of my seat in the car. What should I do? Teeth hurting? Anything dealing with serious health/safety issues is a firm, no-matter-what rule. 5. Plus, I fear parents that reference the Old Testament “beat children with a rod” verses don’t understand the context. However as you pointed out I am afraid that I am creating a disrespectful and out of control child who no one wants to be around. I’ve had to constantly ask myself if I’m meeting her needs and if I need to approach her in a new way. So many people say “How do you make them clean up? As far as “wild brats screaming in stores” I can assure you that mine do not do that. He just gets wired. If they are talking to someone else, I will pull them aside and tell them what they said was rude and give them the words to try again — then ask them to go say the nicer thing and I suggest they apologize for having been rude. if they aren’t spanked or put in time out. Others are going to think I’m too hard and I don’t treat the kids as equals enough. As I’m writing, the kids are cleaning up their art activity in the kitchen, and Grandpa is coming to visit soon. At home, if their only options are healthy choices, that’s what they’ll eat, and it’s super important for parents to model healthy eating. If I waited till I was “ready” to apologize it could be too late. Thanks for sharing!!!! 4 Secrets for Dating a Single Mom in Her 20s, 5 Effective Ways to Make Extra Income as ESL Teachers, 18 Things About Autistic Students in the Classroom. How to you react to “tantrums” that you know is pure frustration? We spanked all four of our children. I tried spanking – she’s to busy to notice; I tried hugging her and asking her to stop, saying that I love her and so on – she may even hit me if I’m trying to stop her from hitting things; explanation and conversation – DOESN’T WORK. However she still has not outgrown them and in fact they seem to be worse now that she’s older. I have never observed discipline working like you suy it does at your house. !” It just is hard. If I do yell, the kid lays down and sobs “I love you mom! We have been doing this since he was a few months old and I believe it is making a huge difference in his emotional development. Leave me alone!” instead of hitting if someone is bugging him. “Your car seat stays strapped until the car is off” is one. So it’s really hard to say…where do we draw the line? At this point I refuse to engage her and tell her we can talk when she isn’t whining. Yes I know, anger is normal and I’m not asking you to become an emotional-free robot. . I’m the author of Natural Remedies for Kids and the owner and lead herbalist at Earthley. I involve them in cooking and learning to make their own healthy options, and I keep lots of healthy options around. If they ran in the street, we would go inside and be done playing immediately. Just recently the 2 oldest have been shoving and hitting (9 & 6) in addition to the not wanting to clean up. Typically this behavior means they haven’t had a chance to get out and run enough, and the best solution is to go home or to a playground and let them run in a more appropriate location.
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